As you’ve probably seen in the news, either on TV or the parts of this paper you skipped over to reach this nugget of comedy, which could be replaced with a “Marmaduke” comic without real consequence, everyone is talking about Trump’s size again.

The guy has hardly been president and is already fighting for reasons to hate on him, granted his press team is not helping by engaging in the conversation.

See, this all relates back to a shot by Marco Rubio when he had half a campaign: Trump’s got small hands.

Now, his press team disagrees.

They believe he has the largest hands of any president ever. Period. Certainly bigger than Obama’s hands in 2009. They believe it’s shameful the media trying to ruin Trump’s inauguration by constantly harping on how his hands could barely even, say, wrap around and pluck the strings of a harp.

News networks like CNN keep talking about how the nation can’t support a president that can’t even support his lawn?

How’s he supposed to rake away layers of corruption in Congress if he can’t even rake away his leaves in the fall? Networks like this, “Rake News” if you will, responded by pointing out that not only did Obama have giant, African American hands, but that protesting woman had even bigger hands than Trump.

“Well,” the Trumpets responded, “you can’t really measure hand size. You just can’t.”

I personally like to think that if we, as humans, can go to the moon, create a jet that can travel from New York to LA in under four hours or mass produce golf clubs for seniors that you can secretly pee into; we sure as hell have the technology to measure a president’s hands.

Luckily, I’m not in politics and I’m sure as hell not a journalist.

The true question is, do we need this giant hand comparison contest?

We get it, people don’t like Trump. There are plenty of polls on the matter and plenty of real issues that need discussing, like his cabinet picks and getting his tax returns.

I just don’t see how it helps to point out that you can paint his nails with a pipette.

Oh well, I guess I will go back to complaining about desks.