Starting Friday, all three North Dakota State dining centers will begin serving breakfast, accompanied by all-you-can-drink Bloody Marys, throughout the day.

These changes resulted from a recent student poll, in which an overwhelming 104 percent of respondents supported an initiative to bring all-day breakfast and cocktails to NDSU. The decision was unanimous causing dining center reform to be implemented immediately.

“It’s been a long time coming,” said Martha Williams, manager at the Residence Dining Center. “I used to get asked all the time: ‘Where’s the pancakes?’ ‘Where’s the spicy adult beverages?’ So, I’m glad Dining came through with this.”

“Plus, Bloody Mary pitchers are half-price from five to eight,” Williams added.

Students largely applauded the changes. “Man, there’s no place in town I can get a plate of bacon, a stack of cakes and bottomless Bloody Marys at two in the afternoon,” said an NDSU sophomore. “This is some died-and-gone-to-Heaven type s—t.”

However, not all reactions have been positive. Some faculty have condemned the changes, arguing they may have a negative effect on students.

“This is unacceptable. We can’t let them serve breakfast foods and Bloody Marys from morning till night. I have no doubt this will affect academic performance,” said a wet blanket in administration. “What’s next, free condoms in the Wellness Center?”

Despite some negative reactions from lame wads, Williams remains optimistic. “Before the changes were implemented, we were really only busy during lunch and dinner. Now, we’re packed to capacity all day. There must be something in the biscuits,” she said.