Welcome to Erik’s H2OWorld

opinion

After multiple biologists told us it couldn’t and shouldn’t be done, we did it.

Welcome to Erik’s H2OWorld (that is a trademark I will tell you). The premier sea critter tank place for you and your sticky family to attend.

We would like to share with you a brand new attraction, that’s right. You know those sea creatures that are hard to find? You know, the ones you would have to travel to a new place and have maybe a slim chance of actually seeing?

That’s right, here at Erik’s H2OWorld we are playing God and bringing them to you. Minus the whole ecosystem and interaction with their natural environment.

You may be wondering, is that good for them? Well, don’t you worry yourself about that. Hey, guess what, look at this fancy T-shirt with our creatures face on it, only $29.99. Make sure to buy one for your kids.

At Erik’s H2OWorld (trademarked) we have a saying, “We have animals in tanks, and you don’t ask questions.”

Yes, we here at Erik’s H2OWorld (trademarked) we had a string of bad press. Rest assured though that our slogan still is in effect.

Our animals, though they may seem sad, are “healthy.” Our lawyers said the quotation marks were necessary.

Remember what Erik’s H2OWorld offers, though. A cheap pass to see that beautiful creature 100 percent guaranteed. Mental well being of the animal is just extra.

Here at Erik’s H2OWorld, we have taken out all of the chance sightings. Your little Sally or Tim wants to see a giant 3-ton whale? Well, here we offer that to you. So relax Mom and Dad and enjoy our main event.

Watch out, our main event is splashing everyone. Oh no, hey remember the shirt? We have more of them. You may need a couple or more. Now the shirt is $35.99 and it has nothing to do with the bad press that we have received. I promise you that.

Just remember, here at Erik’s H2OWorld we love money and we offer a service. Not to the animals, but to you the paying guest. Now remember, no flash photography and our animals are really happy.

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