Three reasons Seattle wins the Super Bowl

Oh Herd, I can’t believe you asked for it again. After last year’s win, I thought you might have learned your lesson? This is going to be easier than getting Miley Cyrus to take her clothes off.

This year, to guide you through the imminent Seattle Seahawk victory, I laid out a three-step strategy guide to help our readers make the right pick this Sunday.

Making Manning Move

When it comes to scrambling ability and bailing the pocket in time, the Denver Broncos’ Peyton Manning is no Brock Jensen or Russell Wilson. In fact, Manning’s top speed resembles my quickness every morning before I put down at least 20 ounces of coffee. Caffeine addiction aside, it was amazing to see Manning avoid the New England defense two weeks ago, almost as amazing as the Seattle defensive line avoiding any positive PED tests.

But I’ll take “Adderall” over a three step drop any day, and with the Broncos’ depleted offensive line, Michael Bennett, Cliff Avril, Bruce Irvin and the rest of Seattle’s scary-good pass rush will make Manning look like a 37-year-old rag doll on Sunday. And don’t give me this shotgun, three steps and throw garbage. If the Broncos’ receivers are able to get off the line in rhythm with Manning’s drop back, Wes Welker, Demaryius Thomas and Eric Decker better remember to buckle up their chin straps, because The Legion of Boom is out for blood.

The Beast Will Feast

Mr. So Much Determination Doe, more popularly known as “Beast Mode”, will get his legs churning early in New Jersey. Marshawn Lynch and his playoff-leading 249 rushing yards come into MetLife ready to make the orange clad Bronco defense taste the rainbow all evening. The muggy New Jersey sky will be raining Skittles while Lynch brings his tenacious attitude against a defense that has been tackling AFC West sissies all year. Danny Trevathan may be from the SEC, but he hasn’t seen country strong until he meets Lynch in the trenches. But another big day on the ground won’t put Seattle over the top.   

Russell Hustle and Bustle, Man Muscle Wilson

My “X-factor” of the game is the Seahawks quarterback. The battle-tested, former third-round pick has been defying odds his whole career. I would be shocked to see Wilson back down against his greatest challenge yet, facing one the best quarterbacks of all time. Wilson has done most of his damage this season while avoiding pressure, playing a backyard style of football. And against old timers that should be in the booth instead of on the field like Champ Bailey and Quentin Jammer in the Bronco secondary, Wilson will be able to buy time for his receivers to break open for some huge plays.

What’s that, Erin Andrews? You want one last comment before the game? Well, I never really do this, but here it goes.

I’m the best picker in the game! When you try me with a sorry typer like Herder, that’s the result you’re going to get! Don’t you ever write about me! Don’t you ever open your laptop about the best! L-O-B!

Prediction: 27-23 Seahawks

MVP – Kam Chancellor

Unnecessary statistic: 29 – The number of misguided steps Percy Harvin takes while wobbling off the field after his concussion.

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