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The First (And Probably Last) Bison Awards

I know I’m about two months late for Award Season, but I was too worried about killing myself trying to graduate instead of entertaining you people but it’s never too late to hand out some hardware. Listen, I don’t want to waste anyone’s time during dead week, so let’s get into it…

Best Athlete That We Have All Heard Of But Don’t Talk About

I’m going to start designating this award for whoever is pitching for the softball team. Krista Menke happens to be on the bump this year for the Bison, so I guess she can hold the honor for 2014.

Best Single-Game Performance After Worst Single-Game Performance

It kills me to say this, but Lawrence Alexander sweeps the ballot. LA is one of my favorite athletes at NDSU, but his Summit League tournament was as bad as every time James Harden tries to play defense. Fortunately, all was forgiven in the second round of the NCAA Tournament against Oklahoma. Let’s just call this award “Buckets” for now.

Best Head of Hair

This is a lot harder when you actually start going through the rosters of every sports team. There’s a good collection of flat-tops, long dreads and I-Don’t-Shower-Anymore looks in NDSU Athletics. I battled between two basketball players. Fred Newell was going to be the unanimous pick, but he actually cut his hair after the NCAA tourney which automatically disqualifies him. I’m giving it to his former teammate Carlin Dupree, who will be listed at 6-foot-11-inches next year.

Athlete Most Likely To Bum A Piece Of Pizza Off Of You

The entire cross-country team.

Most Dapper Looking Coach

I have never seen this guy not in a suit, so I have to go with new men’s basketball coach Dave Richman. No one rocks the beige suit as fearlessly and with as much self-confidence as Richman.

Last Athlete You Would Want To High-Five

This might surprise a few, but I’m voting for Christian Dudzik. He just seems like a guy that loves competing and needs to win at everything. I’m sure if there was such thing as a “High-Five Contest” (and there should be), he would have no problem taking his high-five teammate’s hand off for the win.

Best Video Game Athlete

Ryan Smith told me he mops the floor with his roommate Brock Jensen at Madden when we spoke before the season. Brock disagreed, but I’m going Smith so my Wahpeton friends don’t get upset with me.

Best International Athlete

Deborah John. She’s from Trinidad and Tobago, and the only thing that’s better than her accent is her 110-meter hurdle time.

Most Likely To Make A Game-Winning Play And Ace An Online Test After

I couldn’t vote for Tim Colwell enough on this one. Not only did I write a mini-Bible on his greatness, I forgot to mention he is better than all of us at school, too. Colwell was nominated for the 2014 Senior CLASS Award for being good at sports, reading, writing and life.

Most Likely To Pick Up Hockey The Fastest 

Let me explain what I actually mean by this award. Basically, it’s an award given to the most athletically gifted athlete at NDSU. I had this buddy on my JUCO baseball team who never skated before, but he was so athletic, he could have joined the Bison club hockey team. Anyway, John Crockett narrowly edges Antoinette Goodman for this one.

Congrats to all the award winners! Stay tuned for the “Top 10 Moments” coming next week.

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