With Thanksgiving break being the last breather before finals, we all hope for a relaxing four-day weekend. Unfortunately with family in the mix, the chances of escaping this holiday without a family dispute is pretty slim.
Whether it’s Aunt Lois complaining the turkey is too dry or your racist Grandpa Tom’s impassioned belief that illegal immigrant Mexicans are plotting to take over the country, Thanksgiving can be a stressful time.
Luckily, I’ve compiled a survival kit composed of songs perfect for when you are trapped at a table full of fuming family members.
Slip on those noise-canceling headphones or blare your boombox and see what happens. Make sure to have an escape plan for the latter because you may stop the current argument, but everyone will be coming for you next.
‘Why Can’t We Be Friends’ – War
This classic should come as no surprise. It is perfect for any argument with its simple message, and let’s be honest, if everyone could just get along then Thanksgiving would be a lot more enjoyable. Maybe your family just needs a reminder?
‘Hail the Apocalypse’ – Avatar
When the political argument devolves into a screaming match, you need something even louder to drown it out. This Thanksgiving be thankful for “Hail the Apocalypse” by the Swedish black metal group Avatar. With growling vocals, relentless bass and guitar with a primal amount of gain and distortion, if anything is a worthy challenger to your Uncle Rick and cousin Sarah’s red-faced bickering, this is it.
‘It’s the End of the World (As We Know It)’ – R.E.M.
Did your sister bring a boy home for the first time just to announce they are engaged? Did your parents decide the Thanksgiving meal was the perfect time to tell everyone of their divorce? Whatever the reason, “It’s the End of the World (As We Know It)” by R.E.M. pairs perfectly with family bombshells.
Don’t worry, Michael Stipe understands and he created this song just for you.
‘Parents Just Don’t Understand’ – DJ Jazzy Jeff, The Fresh Prince
Have you mentally prepared yourself to combat your grandmother’s disdain for your new tattoo or your mom’s comments on your weight loss/gain? Don’t worry, The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff know where you are coming from.
A throwback to Will Smith’s hip-hop career, if nothing else, “Parent’s Just Don’t Understand” provides much needed comedic relief to the tension of family conflict. Chances are you didn’t pick up a 12-year-old and get your mom’s new Porsche impounded. Things could always be worse, right?
‘The Thanksgiving Song’ – Adam Sandler
For those cases when you are in dire need of comedic relief, Adam Sandler’s “The Thanksgiving Song” is the clear choice. Sandler’s nonsensical guitar songs are what made him stand out during his SNL days, and this song is from that golden era.
The humorous and at times cringeworthy verses are sure to catch your family off guard. With any luck, it will disturb them enough that they will forget what they were arguing about in the first place, and you can go on to eat in peace.