Terrible Fantasy Advice: Week Five

Apparently, this column has the same bye week as the Eagles and Packers. Week 4 is way too early for bye weeks, as is an 8:30 morning kickoff for the Jaguars and Colts. Anyone other than Jags and Colts fans purposefully get up for this? No? Just making sure.


It is the return of he who shall not be named. Tom Brady returns to the Patriots right on cue. New England put up a goose egg against the Bills last week. Don’t expect that to happen again. To make the return even more special for fantasy owners, the Pats go to Cleveland. The Browns have given up multiple touchdowns every week. Welcome back Tom.

Monday night games are fantasy hell. They become even worse when there is a good player injured. This week, that is Cam Newton. In a very favorable matchup at home against Tampa Bay Monday night, there is plenty of concern for Newton’s health. Diagnosed with a concussion in the second half last week. He is listed as questionable, but that is a coin flip now. Derek Anderson will fill in if Cam can’t go. Anderson did well in relief, and may be the best option to pick up for Newton owners.

Even worse than Monday games are those on Thursday. Carson Palmer owners best look to their backups. The Cardinals will likely return to action without their star quarterback who was concussed. Drew Stanton will take over center as the Cards travel to San Francisco.

Wide receivers

Julio Jones owners rejoice. After getting shut down by the Saints in Week 3, Jones went off against the Panthers, 300 yards and a touchdown. Now sit back down and realize that the good performance may not carry over to this week. Falcons face a tough trip to Denver. The Broncos allow just 169.5 yards of passing a game. A tough task for any team to put up serious points on them.

One question for Golden Tate owners, why? Going into this season, Tate was supposed to get the torch from the retired Calvin Johnson. Nope. Marvin Jones keeps excelling and Tate keeps slipping down. Benched in the second half last week against the Bears, he had slipped to number three on the depth chart behind Anquan Boldin. Definitely not worth the start and a likely candidate to be dropped.

Running backs

LeGarrette Blount got stuck in a bad situation last week. The Bills were able to take away the run game, forcing Jacoby Brissett to throw. Don’t expect that this week.

Le’Veon Bell is a scary man. Back from a three game suspension, all the owners who took him in the draft are already getting the payoff for patience. Last week, Bell dismantled the Chiefs in his return, and he didn’t even score a touchdown. 144 yards on the ground is very impressive on its own. Add on to that his usage as a slot receiver, tack on another 34 yards from that, and there is a beast of a player.

Tight ends

Is this finally the week of the Gronk? The Patriot’s tight end has been recovering from injury, and put up just a single point last week. The whole gang should be available for the Patriots this week, and once again, it is the Browns.

Defenses/Special teams

The Vikings are for real, a solid and deep team across the field. They have put up great performances so far this season, and don’t expect too much to change as they play host to the Texans.

Why you would have them in the first place is a good question, but don’t play the Browns defense. Simple enough.

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