Terrible Fantasy Advice | Week 5

Start Andy Dalton next week. Seriously.

Running backs are just like toilet paper. First of all, consider the way they are treated by management. They are considered disposable. Once they are all used up, teams just throw them out and get another roll. Some teams prefer a softer, more expensive toilet paper, but the principle remains the same. Secondly, consider the way their seasons unfold. Running backs take more hits than anybody else on the field. Each hit is like another wipe. After so many hits, the toilet paper is bound to run out. This is exactly why you should treat the running backs on your team… like toilet paper.

Do you know why toilet paper usually comes in packs of six or more? It’s because nobody wants to be caught with their pants around their ankles, staring at an empty roll with remorse. That’s what I would call a sticky situation. Think of running backs the same way. It’s possible you’re only going to need two, but why risk it? Ideally, you should have at least four usable running backs on your roster. Do the intelligent thing and have an extra roll on hand when one gets injured.

QB – Andy Dalton

Before you write a strongly-worded letter to my editor, just hear me out. Cincinnati’s offensive line is really bad, some might even call it poopy. But luckily for the Red Rifle this week, the Cardinals defense is just as poopy. Arizona’s defense hasn’t gone through a single game without allowing at least 20 points. While they have 11 sacks on the season, they would have a lot more if their secondary could cover for more than three seconds. Between Mixon, Boyd, Tate and Eifert, Dalton should find an open man on nearly every drop back.

To strengthen Dalton’s case, he has a track record of playing poorly in primetime games, so just forget Monday ever happened. His game crumples against average to great defenses, but he excels against weak secondaries. For example, take a look at his Week 1 performance. The Seahawks defense made him look like Jimmy Neutron, Football Genius. Starting Dalton doesn’t feel good, but you can definitely do it this week.

RB – David Montgomery

Fantasy owners that drafted Montgomery have been disappointed so far. He’s ranked 29th in running back fantasy points after the first 4 weeks. As an owner myself, I’ve been hesitant to start him. Fortunately, all arrows have been pointing to a blowup, and I think this is the week. He’s gotten 52 carries in the last three weeks (two more than Dalvin Cook) and received 21 last week. He hasn’t been that productive with those carries, but that should change this week. 

The Bears play against the Raiders in London this week, so nobody has the home-field advantage. Chicago will have to rely on Montgomery with QB Mitch Trubisky likely out of the lineup. The Raiders’ defense is the final piece of the puzzle. Vontaze Burfict, their defensive field general, just got suspended for the rest of the season. Their defense is going to need time to adjust, and Montgomery will make that clear.

WR – Courtland Sutton

Sutton has been a pleasant surprise this season. He hasn’t gotten more than nine targets in a single game, but he also hasn’t gotten any less than seven. The SMU product broke out last game with two touchdowns. Joe Flacco is the only thing standing in the way of Sutton’s excellence. Flacco snapped a rough patch last game with a three-touchdown performance against a stingy Jacksonville defense. The Broncos take on the Chargers this week. LA has allowed eight passing touchdowns this season compared to just two rushing touchdowns. Sutton is a WR2 or flex play with a high touchdown upside this week.

TE – Jimmy Graham

Graham’s involvement in the offense has been a little unpredictable thus far. In two of his four games, he never brought in a catch and only received one total target. In the other two games, he caught a combined nine passes on 14 targets and two touchdowns. If Davante Adams is out this weekend, you can bet on a good game from Golden Graham. Adams, Aaron Rodgers’ number one option, left Thursday night’s game with turf toe and is likely to sit this week.

Green Bay is on the road this week at Dallas. With Dallas being favored to win the game by 4.5 points, it’s likely that Aaron Rodgers and company will have to rely on the aerial attack to stay competitive. If Graham is already owned in your league, then Tyler Eifert is your play this week. Arizona is far away from the worst defense in the league against the tight end position, so even Eifert should be able to produce a serviceable game.

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