Technology Debauchery: What Get’s Most Misused

BRENDA | PHOTO COURTESY
A clear misuse of technology, you should never need a laptop, knitting needles, and a dictionary.

Technology is often developed with intent. A gun is meant to shoot something and a vape kit is meant to single hipsters out for ostracization. Sometimes, however, the original intent becomes masked by what people think is a better use. Let’s look at a few and you can decide what you feel is most misused.

I like to think of M&M’s first. They were originally designed for soldiers so they could carry candy around without the chocolate melting. The slogan “melts in your mouth, not in your hand” is more than just a euphemism. Nowadays, though, they’re just the Halloween candy you buy because you hate the kids in your neighborhood. I don’t know what made you so jaded you’d pass over the various other objectively better candies, but this won’t fix anything. This won’t fix you.

Of course, there are the obvious Q-tips. They are just cotton swaps for your various cotton swab needs. Unfortunately, people decided that their ear drums have gotten too big for their britches. They just sit back nice and safe like they own the place. The clear reaction is to use a cue tip and beat the ear drum like it owes you money.

I’m pretty sure whoever invented tissues didn’t intend for men to use them the way they do.

You can’t forget Priuses. They were supposed to save the Earth. “Drive a Prius to work in the morning, don’t worry about the sixteen k-cups you’ve used today alone.” Only thing is I’ve probably heard more jokes about Hybrids than times I’ve actually seen one. They’re just an easy target. What started with good intentions has basically made a laughing stock out of hybrid cars (though I will not insult Teslas). Whatever, I don’t drive one and I’m not throwing away my Keurig.

Last, but certainly not least, the internet.  I don’t know exactly what people expected the Internet to become, but it wasn’t this. Not only is it a staple of American life, it is the largest depository for useless and weird crap ever. You tell me where I can find a larger collection of puppies and cat videos and I will tell you that you are a miracle worker. Show me a larger group of people somehow turned on by it and I will show you the door and a respectable distance.

But none of these are really a misuse of technology. Technology changes based on people wants and needs, there’s no wrong answers. Except for vaping. Stop vaping.

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