With Halloween around the corner, everyone is scrambling to find a last-minute costume. Now, given the fact I care more about a possible Game 6 of the World Series on the 31st, I honestly put in very little effort into my “costume.” But I realize some people do, so here are the Sports Editor’s ideas for Halloween costumes.
For those who try
For those that go all-out for this stuff, here is the bar. You know those guys at Oakland Raiders’ games that are all decked out with face paint, body paint, body armor, crazy headgear and so on. There is the bar.
Now, that can work for any team. Take the Minnesota Timberwolves. All that is required is blue, green and black face paint, a Wolves jersey (for throwback sake, go with an old Wally Szczerbiak one, those are sick), and fluffy mittens and/or pants. You got it.
If you want to take the Bison route, I recommend green and yellow paint and at least either a Bison fur cape or hat. If you don’t have one of those, don’t bother showing up to the party.
Impersonation is the best form of flattery
I tend to wear maize and blue, wear khakis and glasses, who am I? If you answered Jim Harbaugh, you are correct, and you have an idea for a costume.
Now, the thing about dressing up as a certain person is that you must become that person. This helps if you pick someone that you share characteristics with.
Are you a cocky fella that touches reality as often as you shut your mouth, which is not often? If so, lace your $500 shoes and put on your BBB shirt, LaVar Ball.
When you see someone sliding, do you have the urge to hit them high. Go ahead, Kiko Alonso.
Do you walk into a place and everyone turns to boo you? Put on your suit, Roger Goodell. But I don’t care how good of a commissioner costume it turns out to be, I am still booing.
Get topical with it
Now, this is where sports costumes come into their own. Sports fans will get them, while others may not see the finer points.
For instance, wear green and put 13 screws between your neck and shoulder. It’s Aaron Rogers.
A powder wig, black robe, gavel plus a baseball bat equals Aaron Judge. I do not recommend this costume if you will be around Twins fans, but expect to catch some flack if Astros fans are in the area.
It also works the other way too. You can dress up as Shrek by wearing an old Manchester United No. 10 shirt. Seriously, it is impressive how much Wayne Rooney looks like the green ogre everyone loves.
Now, for those of you that have a significant other, it can be a good idea to dress up together.
While Tony Romo may have retired, a couple can still dress up as one of his finest moments. But you will have to fight to see which Romo has DirectTV and which has cable.
Or if you feel like you are a super couple, how about Ashton Eaton and Brianne Theisen-Eaton. The American decathlete and Canadian heptathlete were the Olympic power couple in Rio and are worth emulating.
But my favorite goes to the couple that likes soccer. Go as the Men in Blazers, but warning, two bald caps are required, unless you are really dedicated to the bit.
Finally, the Sports Editor’s pick
Alright, I will admit it — I will be putting no effort into my costume this year. I will take part, but my costume will not be hard to pull off. Since I like topical costumes, I will be going as an utter disappointment. This one is simple: grab a U.S. Soccer jersey, and throw it on. It also means that your costume serves as an excuse to miss out on a party, because you are just like the USMNT missing out in Russia.