See Ya, Seniors

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Don’t forget this awesome statue, either.

So you’re moving on in the world. Good for you, but don’t forget about those back home. No, not your lame family. I’m talking about us. North Dakota State has kept you safe, stressed and tipsy for four years now, maybe a little longer. Let me remind you what you’re missing out on now that you’re too big for this campus.


Let me remind you what you’re missing out on now that you’re too big for this campus.


Bison. Great animal. Great mascot. It’s authoritative and demanding, plus Thundar’s name is fantastic. Know what my high school’s symbol was? A leaf. Our mascot? Leafy. It was a giant leaf. You can’t build a school culture around that.

The dining centers were great until they weren’t. Sure, you can afford real food soon, but you’re telling me you won’t miss it at all? 75 percent of the time it’s chicken and the coffee tastes like ash, but you could spend all day there. Do homework, meet friends, stress eat your sixth slice of cheesecake because damn it you paid for it.

Fight club.

Fargo is cool. Even below freezing most of the time. The wind is a harsh mistress, but she sculpts you. You are a harder person for it. No one in your new Texas office knows how it feels to be a kite.


75 percent of the time it’s chicken and the coffee tastes like ash.


Bison. The people this time. NDSU is defined by the students who comprise it. We form groups for classes and majors and dumb board games only your four favorite people care about. We’re there for nights out and days in. No one goes it alone, not entirely. That’s the real beauty of college. No matter what, some goofy bastard isn’t going to leave you alone. Shut ins, song birds and stoners alike are almost drowning in their own kind. The stoners, however, are the only ones coughing.

Ten years from now you won’t necessarily miss a grilled chicken sandwich with a disturbing crunch. The winters will just be winters, and they’ll still be playing football. If you’re lucky, you’ll still be holding the people who stayed up with you studying for a test. The people who stayed up with you for the hell of it. The people who made NDSU.

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