A Morning Guide: Riding the Snooze Cruise

PHOTO COURTESY | PIXELS
An alarm clock that will eventually wake you up.

Congrats on getting through the first week of classes, but the hard part has just started. You’ve still got to get into your routine if you want to be successful. You freshman don’t even have a routine to get into yet. Luckily for you lot, I’m around to get you going into that groove.

Let’s start with something I do almost every day: waking up. I’ll give you a quick walk-through of my average morning; feel free to take notes.

It all starts the night before. I lay out my morning, how much time I’ll need for this and that. What I plan on having for breakfast. How long of a shower I want to take. Factor in time for coffee and preparing for class. It all adds up to a nice chunk of time pivoting around what bus I’m taking to class. Satisfied with my own personal timeline, I go to bed excited for a peaceful, productive morning.

Six-thirty the alarm goes off. I decide to reward myself for a good night’s rest with more rest. I can spare five minutes in the morning. Hit that snooze button and enjoy the morning the right way: asleep. Next alarm? Good thing I made such a good schedule, it can spare another five minutes. With pride, the snooze button makes a valiant comeback. Another alarm? These things are getting annoying, but I build so much extra time into my mornings it’s not like it matters. Let’s snooze a little longer. This is the last one though. Finally, the last alarm goes off. I can get up and enjoy the day. No excuses. Snooze.

Holy crap what time is it? Up, up, up. Shower, you goddamn bum. How did you allow this to happen again? Can I brush my teeth and get dressed at the same time? Nope, worth a shot though. Breakfast? Breakfast? There was a time for breakfast: it was half-past-you-slept-through-it. Get the coffee going now or you’ll be dead for the day; down it like there’s gold in the bottom and worry about the second degree burns later.

Okay, so that was the bus that went by. That was definitely my bus that just went by because why wouldn’t it be. It’s fine; University Village will have one. Or it won’t. And you’ll run. Again. I could drive, but I’d rather be late than pay for parking when I already have a parking pass. It’s the principle of the thing.

This can’t happen again. Tomorrow I’m gonna wake up on time. I’m gonna do everything right. This isn’t like yesterday. I mean it this time.

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