Preparing for WrestleMania

Strap in wrestling fans, this Sunday is the Showcase of the Immortals, otherwise known as WrestleMania. The WWE’s flagship pay-per-view is going to be a long one, with 14 matches currently scheduled on the card. So, in 50 words or less (75 for the main event, because it is so deserving), here is a breakdown of what will happen in each match from MetLife Stadium with all of the superstars from the WWE’s two brands, Raw and Smackdown.

Women’s Championship: Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair (c)

The first women’s main event at WrestleMania got really confusing. Rousey, the Raw champion, was going to defender her title against the Smackdown women. But last week, Charlotte won the Smackdown title, meaning both belts are involved in the match. Now, winner gets both titles. Expect the only woman not to walk in with a belt to walk away with two, assuming they get out of police custody following Monday’s Raw.

Prediction: Lynch taps out Rousey to gain the titles.

Universal Championship: Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Seth Rollins

After years of shoving Lesnar and Romain Reigns down the fans’ throats, it feels as if the Beast Incarnate’s run in WWE is coming to an end. Rollins, the winner of the Royal Rumble in January, is the perfect person to pick up the belt.

Prediction: Rollins pins Lesnar.

WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Kofi Kingston

Match of the night contender here. Kofi has taken the hearts of the crowd in his journey to this match, fully taking his chance (and a few unfair beatings) to get here. Bryan’s eco-friendly heel character, and his partnership with Rowan, his ring-side muscle, make this match even better.

Prediction: Kofi loses through no fault of his own, Bryan retains and the WWE universe cries.

United States Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Rey Mysterio

Easy one: if the big Samoa Joe gets Mysterio in his clutches, that is that. Mysterio’s speed and agility mean he can evade, which would make this match good. That said …

Prediction: Samoa Joe gets Mysterio in his clutches to retain.

Intercontinental Championship: Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Finn Balor

Easiest prediction on the card. On Monday’s episode of Raw, Balor announced he would be donning his Demon persona. Balor hasn’t lost as the Demon, and WWE Chairman Vince McMahon won’t want him to start losing.

Prediction: Balor defeats Lashley in a short match.

Women’s Tag Team Championship: Bayley and Sasha Banks (c) vs. Nia Jax and Tamina vs. The IIconics vs. Beth Phoenix and Natalya

The first appearance of the newest championship in the WWE gets an old face in it. Hall of Famer Phoenix could be a force, as shown on Raw Monday. But expect the inaugural champions to retain.

Prediction: Banks or Bayley pin a member of the IIconics to retain.

Cruiserweight Championship: Buddy Murphy (c) vs. Tony Nese

The Cruiserweight division, the WWE’s forgotten child. It is good fun, but doesn’t get time in the spotlight. A high-octane fight will occur, but to get some buzz on the title, a change is needed.

Prediction: Nese takes the belt.

No Holds Barred Match: Triple H vs. Batista

If Triple H loses, he will retire from in-ring action. Triple H has never beaten Batista. Feels like a Triple H win is in the cards. We are in the endgame now.

Prediction: Triple H snaps away Batista.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: The Miz vs. Shane McMahon

The former “greatest tag-team in the world” imploded, and now we have this match. This match will somehow involve The Miz’s father, who is only proud of his son when he is winning tag-team championships apparently. Mr. Miz is going to get hit in the face is the guess.

Prediction: The Miz makes his dad proud, after allowing his dad to get hit in the face.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

Reigns’ return from his bout with leukemia has been successful, but the WWE world is in the hands of top bad guy McIntyre. The Scottish Psychopath seems ready to kill someone, just look back a couple weeks to when he kicked Dean Ambrose while he was stuck in the stair’s handrail.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Smackdown is the house that AJ Styles built, and Orton thinks he is the big guy on the show. Styles is a good wrestler and should be able to … (RKO out of nowhere).

Prediction: Orton wins with an RKO.

Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin

It is the final match in Angle’s career. It has been a good career from the Olympic gold medalist and former Raw general manager. Corbin is the most hated member of the roster, and it wouldn’t be too big of a surprise if he gets pulled for John Cena.

Prediction: Angle defeats someone and walks up the ramp to grateful “you suck” chants for the final time.

 Andre the Giant Battle Royal

Of all the superstars that will be in the event, the biggest storyline is that Braun Strowman is bickering with Michael Che and Colin Jost from “Saturday Night Live.” The WWE still doesn’t know what to do with the Monster Among Men, so give him the win.

Prediction: Che and Jost get those hands; Strowman wins.

Women’s Battle Royal

Speaking of superstars the WWE doesn’t know what to do with, Asuka was the Smackdown women’s champion two weeks ago, but with no clear opponent for WrestleMania. Since, she lost said title to Charlotte. She deserves better than this.

Prediction: Auska, because who else deserves the win?

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