Petition to Make the Sun Move Slower


Every time I look up, that slimeball sun has moved farther along the sky. Every time I go to bed, that gaseous goon races to wake me up. Every college student ends up feeling like they have a lot to do and not enough hours to do it. Until we can get that the sun to play ball, time management is a skill you’ve got to pick up in college. Here are a few tips I’ve picked up along the way.

At least get a start

If you’re sitting around and you’ve got a bit of time, use it. There are days I’ve got work to do, but it just seems like more fun to stare at my desk and see what it does. So far, it’s been uneventful. Even if all you do is start the first problem, it’s something and it’ll make it a lot easier to come back to.

Recognize time sinks

There are obvious ones like Netflix. You tell yourself you’ll start after one episode. Six shame-filled episodes later, you’ve given up on being a productive member of society. Not to mention college means other college students. There’s no better distraction.

Sleep (or don’t)

Now, sleep is another time sink that you kinda need. Devoting eight or more hours to doing nothing can be aggravating when you could be working or socializing. That’s why I stick to a tried and true strategy: don’t sleep. It’s great. There’s so much more I can do, and the only downsides are bags under my eyes and a zombie-like demeanor. I just realized that sleep loss is cumulative. Once in a while, you do just need a high quality sleep.

Accept your fate

Shoot off a salute and march toward your demise. The thing about time management is that it makes time seem like it can be managed. Sometimes you just have to accept that it is the cruel master that governs your feeble existence.

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