NFL Changes Make the Game Better

The National Football League is notorious for bad ideas about the rule changes. Most of that is in the fault of the Commissioner Roger Goodell.

News flash Goodell: We don’t like Thursday Night Football you Donald Trump looking ass with the same hair color and style. Who in their right mind likes watching the Titans in the baby blue uniforms face the Jaguars in their puke green uniforms.

Besides me. I like watching pointless games that usually have no big game feel. At the odd time of Thursday, I can’t wait to just procrastinate some more and watch a game that has no effect on the team and just relax for the night. I also like seeing the crazy full colored uniforms. And the full white ones at home that Cincinnati and New Orleans had was brilliant. Really mixed things up a bit.

Now this year instead of making games shorter and taking away commercials, they are going to add more. The theory is that they want to draw people in more and make them more excited that they have to stay tuned in.

The new commercial will be right after the touchdown, to try and ice the kicker. So yes, now there will be a commercial right after the touchdown, the point after and the kickoff. Yes, more commercials!

A big rule change is that one in overtime. Everything in overtime is the same. Unless the game ends in a tie, since ties are un-American. If the game ends in a tie, it goes to a field goal kicks. It’s like soccer’s penalty kicks. You put the ball on a tee and have a list of 11 players to kick field goals. The kicker is (see what I did there?) that the kicker and the punter cannot be involved. Unless it’s Blair Walsh, then he can kick all of them.

Whichever team has the most made kicks at the end wins the game.

Other big rule changes are on kickoffs. The first one is that if the kickoff goes through the field goal it is an added point to the team. This will also give a plus one in fantasy too. The ball then will be placed to where the ball was kicked from and the receiving team will have it there. So, kickers be careful.

Second be change is that if the ball hits the field goal post, it can be caught and returned. It is still in debate if this is only for kickoffs or anytime the ball hits the uprights.

Next big topic that of the offseason is the relocation of teams and free agency. Everyone as heard of the Chargers move to Los Angeles. LA hasn’t had a football team since the Raiders moved to Oakland in 1994 and now they still don’t have a team, and now Raiders relocating to Las Vegas. Making four teams move since 2016, joining the Ram, Chargers and Browns. The Cleveland Browns were the latest team to move, and will be now called the Mars Browns. Yup, now moving to Mars effective immediately are the Browns.

With the Browns now having Brock Osweiler as their quarterback this could be a good thing. He is freakishly tall at 6’7”, he is practically an alien. He is so tall that he is not getting enough oxygen and is getting all loopy and makes bad reads on Earth. Maybe he will play better now that he is back on his home planet.

Finally, free agency. No one wants to sign Adrian Peterson or Collin Kaepernick, well I got a solution for both. The Browns. They are already paying Osweiler huge contract he signed with Houston so come on over Peterson we will pay $8 million in your first year even though you are injury prone and 32 years old. Instead of beating your children you can beat these aliens. Kaep, we know you don’t like America so come to a whole new planet and get as far away as you can.

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