Local NDSU Bison Works to Find Courage

PHOTO COURTESY | WIKI COMMONS
A local Tinder love story for the ages.

Love is in the air, and just in time as it feels like February outside, as local North Dakota State sophomore Jason Bison told us that he has finally worked up the courage to send the first Tinder message to his match.

“It has been a long time coming,” Bison said. “I think about it every day.” Bison told us he matched with his “soul mate” two months ago, and since then there has been a wordless romance that Bison reports has changed his life.

“It has been occupying my mind all day and all night.” Bison told us that one can’t just show up with a terrible first message when you have a match like his, you have to be original and fresh.

“Look, I gotta shoot my shot, but I’m going to rehearse first.” Bison has thought of perhaps sending a GIF (he pronounced it like the peanut butter brand) or perhaps a meme first, possibly SpongeBob related? Being from the Midwest, Bison is far from forward.

“I have memorized their Tinder profile. Honestly, there is nothing there, nothing to lead with.” Bison told us that this lack of direction has sent him into a tailspin that all of his friends have heard about. This came to a head when Bison was found crying in the bathroom at Herd and Horns over his inability to be clever last mug night.

“It’s really tough, but someone has to be forward.” Bison noted that he has taken suggestions from all of his friends, who mostly tell him he needs to forget perfection and just come forward with anything other than a dick pic.

“I can’t change who I am. My greatest weakness is that I am a Renaissance man with a perfectionist streak.” Either way, Bison told us that he plans on ending the stalemate and just break the Tinder silence tonight.

“He won’t know what hit him.” The Spectrum will continue to update you on this budding romance and will, of course, have cameras rolling and invading if there is a first coffee date.

Last updated:

9:38 a.m., April 5.

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