It Was a Graveyard Smash!

ANDREW HITCHCOCK | Photo Courtesy
A good place to dance, kids.

Have you ever wanted a nice evening with a punch, high schoolers and camaraderie?

But wait, you have a pit of rage in your stomach that screams for vengeance.

We all have someone that just ruins our day. Maybe they made a snide comment or cut in front of you at the supermarket or left you in financial ruin with a shaky mortgage and shakier marriage. Ya know average interpersonal problems. Well, sometimes these people get what’s coming to them.

We’ve all heard the saying, “I’ll dance on your grave.”

Personally, I think it’s kind of nice. The whole “celebration of life” thing gets talked about at every funeral. I would want to leave behind some happy memories. I doubt the people saying the comments will see it as kind, but I they have their opinion and I have mine. Doesn’t sound like we agreed on much anyway.

Well, if you fancy yourself one of these people, let’s have a talk, you and me.

For a measly two thousand dollars, I will organize a school-sanctioned dance on the graves of your enemies. Why dance alone when you can get hundreds of feet on that hallowed ground.

I will reach out to a local high school or middle school and make all the arrangements. The school will get a cut of the money so they can buy another couple iPads. After all, the 1995 Dell desktops still work fine. We’ll get the parents involved in chaperoning. The best way to show your kid the sky is the limit is to hover over them like a helicopter.

Don’t worry; we’ll break up any funny business. Our specially trained PG police will make sure the students are holding their arms straight while maintaining an appropriate distance. This is a graveyard, gotta leave room for Jesus.

This could be the night of your life while paying respect to someone else’s. No need to be negative about the whole thing. You can make a nice gesture holding an event for their life. Or a not-so-nice gesture holding an event for their life.

The point is, revenge is a lot like milk. Sometimes it delicious, sometimes it’s sour. The only sure way to know is to try it.

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