How to Wreck a Rec League

Rec leagues are kind of like a thrift store of people. You don’t always get the best and brightest, you get whatever walks through that door that no respectable league wanted.

For example, I was in a rec league for soccer until “A Bunch of Nobodies” was knocked out in the first round of the playoffs. But therein lies the point. You have every right to be good, however, there’s nothing wrong with the fact that we’re the equivalent of a $2 pair of jeans three quarters ripped with mystery stains. The point of a rec league is to have fun and that is the job of both teams.

Bad teams out there, let me talk to you for a second. We are garbage at the game. That’s just a fact. That’s doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy being garbage. Some garbage is kind of nice. There’s some really cool stuff if you’re willing to sift through candy wrappers and cardboard, but I digress. Just because you’re bad at the game doesn’t mean the game isn’t just as fun if you’re willing to challenge yourself and lose.

That doesn’t mean we have to shame a good team for not taking it easy. If you can crush a team, I say go for it.

You know what’s the best part of being good at something? Being good at it. You deserve try your best and have fun just as much as the teams that can’t perform as well. As far as soccer goes, we’re nails and you’re a hammer.

The important thing to remember is there is absolutely a way to win or lose. If you lose, you lose. It doesn’t take away from the game or what happened.

From this point, you have a few options. You can break down, start crying, turn on some “My Chemical Romance” and think about the soccer game that always was and always will be. You can find a fire in yourself you didn’t even know was there and devote your life to the art, style and absolute Europeanous of soccer to crush your enemies into the dirt. Or you can, like, go get pizza and talk about the school or whatever.

For example, if you feel the need to, say, kick the ball like a cannon across the field from the goal because you know the short girl in front of you will get out of the way, rethink some things. If you feel the need to open the door to the indoor field and shout “GOAL!” to the players on the field, well I can’t exactly describe you without getting a sit down with my editor. How about it’s four letters long and starts with a “T.”

As long as I’m not so subtly calling out people I don’t actually know, hello to the volleyball players who hit me in the head after that game without saying a word before or after. I remember the deadpan look as you walked up, grabbed your ball and walked away, thanks.

The fact of the matter is, you need to remember it’s just a rec league.

Lose? What matters is you had fun. Win? What matters is you had fun.

Argue with a ref over a yellow card? Maybe you should just be happy it wasn’t a red because you probably deserve it.

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