Homecoming Horoscopes

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Aries, March 19-April 20

Be prepared for the spotlight, Bison, because you’ll be put in it whether you like it or not. You need to be giving 100 percent effort to be ready for what’s next. Maybe you’ll have to speak in front of one big lecture hall; maybe you’ll be faced with the chance to ask out that special someone or maybe you’ll drop your towel in the middle of the residence hall hallway. Whatever it may be, charge ahead. If you drop that towel, bend over proudly and flash the tour group behind you. You’ll make it through the spotlight to a place more tranquil in days to come.

Taurus, April 20-May 20

Binge “Game of Thrones” to brush up on your dragon slaying skills, you’ll need them as this week will push you to your limit. Also, make a note to go cliff jumping as you’ll need to take some risks to achieve greatness. We all know, Bison, that if a taurus is all about one thing, it’s greatness. You’re significantly more bull-headed than other more fluid peers of yours like your counterpart, Pisces. You’ll also get an urge to increase the amount of veggies in your diet in an effort to combat the layer of winter fat that inevitably builds up every year. You go Bison, you go.

Gemini, May 21-June 20

Your homecoming will be banging, Bison. Plenty of cuties will be close to you, whether it be in your classes or at a few house parties, for you to tap into. Maybe you’ll meet that special someone … but probably not. If we’re being honest here, this homecoming is your hookup central, but be safe about it. Your creative side will also be activated, so maybe it’s time to try something new. Go for someone you never thought you would. Put yourself out there.

Cancer, June 21-July 22

Be the control freak of a Bison you truly are. Take charge in group chats and planning for the weekend to lead your friends on a Homecoming journey they won’t forget. But keep in mind: perfection is an impossible goal. Doors open and doors close, but you control your own destiny by reaching for the handle. Things always happen for a reason, so try turning any busted plans into spontaneous adventure. Stay away from the impulsiveness in your friend group. Don’t let their bad ideas sound like fun. Nobody likes being stopped by the cops for dumpster diving.

Leo, July 23-Aug. 22

You’ll be turning heads all week as flaunt your best Bison gear on campus, at events and at the football game. Put your pedal to the metal and say yes to life because the risks you take this week will lead to good fortune. And don’t forget to thank your body for enduring the grueling five weeks you’ve had thus far and pushing the envelope during Homecoming Week by treating yourself with some extra sweat time at the Wellness Center or curl up in your favorite place for a cozy nap.

Virgo, Aug. 23-Sept. 22

For you, this homecoming is all about loving your fellow bison! Take some chances and go for that person you’ve been eyeing at that party. Cut out the drama and ignore your work load for a night. Take a deep breath and go after what you’ve been craving. Call your mother because, to her, homecoming is all about you. Make sure to wear your gold and green and take advantage of all the events your friends are going to. Make this week special and ace those tests. This week will be a rowdy one, but you’ll remember this homecoming 5ever!

Libra, Sept. 23-Oct. 22

The energy you’re feeling will keep you going all week, Libra. Get ready for some wild rides and some epic fun as this week holds good things for you … mostly. Be wary of misunderstandings, either between friends or professors, as the tests don’t let up just because it’s homecoming. Don’t forget to play nice, not everybody is at the same place as you. Make sure to show some gold and green spirit with that free Bison shirt you got in the Union that one time! Make sure you’re paying attention to your love interests as someone — or something (Beauty and the Beast?) may be just around the corner.

Scorpio, Oct. 23-Nov. 21

Be wary of distractions set forth by other fellow bison. You’re in danger of being severely distracted in the week to come. Keep your friends close, but your study buddies closer as this next week will prove difficult. Pro tip: turn off your notifications on your phone to improve your day-to-day routine and become more efficient. Don’t fret however, this experience can’t last forever. Soon you’ll be back to regular adventures with the people you like the most. Hang in there, just a few more days without the herd and you’ll get back to yours!

Sagittarius, Nov. 22-Dec. 21

So, you have no impulse control! This week will be brimming with art, sports, friends, mud, paint and anything else you can think of — talk about letting your freak flag fly. Get down and dirty, love yourself and everyone else! We all know that your strong suit has never been control, and why would it be? A bison runs faster while jumping all obstacles! Just make sure to end all the fun and games with a calming activity that puts yourself first, maybe a facemark? Or a bubble bath? Maybe some ice cream that perhaps doesn’t line up with your diet. Whatever it is, have fun!

Capricorn, Dec. 22-Jan. 19

Your life has always been balancing act between a few too many things. You’ve always been a pro at this, but this week may throw a wrench into your plans. A massive wrench. Will your friend loop you into something when you should be studying for that test? Perhaps a flirtatious fling will put your mind in a euphoric land for a period of time, or a breakup may occupy your thoughts. Whatever it may be, a bison is strong and can handle it with the help of their herd.

Aquarius, Jan. 20-Feb. 18

Oh you busy bison, you. You feel just exhausted, don’t you? Or can you not tell anymore because it’s your constant state of being? Yes fellow bison, it’s your time to rest. While your peers are taking the week to be rowdy, you should be taking this time to relax in your bed with a good book and a cup of hot tea, hot cocoa or coffee to manage the caffeine withdrawal you might be feeling. Sleep in for once, you deserve it. Go grab a pizza and laugh at a stupid movie with your best friend. This week is full of trials, but it’s nothing to shed some tears over.

Pisces, Feb. 19-March 20

You spend too much; you never save and you need a bigger paycheck. Unfortunately, without a job switch or a lifestyle change none of this will come to you. Try saving instead of spending; get a savings account at your local bison bank. Not only do you struggle to save, but you struggle to stay in your lane. You’re curious! Which isn’t a bad thing, but be wary of taking things too far. Remember, curiosity killed that bison but Mike Tyson brought it back. So keep you bison spices flowin’ this week.

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