Further Look Into Student Body President Candidates

Student body elections are back, and it is time to determine which candidate will be the one to make the best and more efficient changes to campus. From April 4 to April 5, students will be electing their 2018-2019 student body president and vice president.

This year, two candidates were written in by many students, leading to their running for president; Fredward “Fred” Feline with vice president Lilly Lizard and Loretta Langston with vice president Gary Gecko.

Feline is three years old and working toward his degree in political science. In his free time, he enjoys prowling around campus and swatting at anything that gets in his way. His family described him as being introverted and passionate toward his policies.

Langston, also being three years old, is now working on her business degree and her free time is spent gnawing on shoes and enjoying alone time to plan her future business career. Friends have described her as loyal and protective of her beliefs.

Although many students have been going off cuteness between the two candidates, they still try to remain professional and gain their position through intelligence. In fact, they have both remained trained throughout this stressful time and have not relapsed into no longer being house trained. This has led to people speculating which would have a more paws-on mentality.

The two candidates have been periodically going to classrooms, giving their point of views and how they will improve the NDSU campus as well as competing in the annual debate where student press is able to ask questions about their ambitions for the upcoming year.

Feline has been seen going around campus tearing up blue books with his claws to show that he is fighting for students to no longer have to pay for these since scantrons are now covered.

In contrast, Langston has been working her rounds by expressing the need for a change in textbook costs. By chewing up the binds of textbooks and any loose leaf papers, it has been shown that she is passionate on her fight to ease students’ expenses.

When asked about how they will improve the campus, Langston started by explaining her fight to cut student expenses, “Bark, bark bark bark – bark bark woof.”

However, Feline disagreed and pushed her declaration aside. He went back to his fight for blue books. “Meow meow – meow meow,” Feline hissed.

In response, Langston snarled with her teeth piercing through her lips. This led to conflict as she pointed to his leftover milk dripping from his fur. He became embarrassed and licked it away, then pointed to the stain on Langston’s collar.

President Dean Bresciani intervened, pulling the conversation back to the issues at hand. Students continued to ask questions on how to lower tuition expenses.

Both candidates put aside their differences in the fight for free tuition. They both agreed that baby boomers screwed millennials over and think they should make up for it by increasing taxes only for that generation to overall decrease tuition and ending with free tuition for millennials and future generations.

They have both agreed that any extra money from the university will be donated to the local animal shelter Animals Rule The World.

“Bark bark,” Langston howled completing her debate.

“Meow,” Feline purred to thank every attendee.

Students can vote for their student body president at ndsuelections.com and can commit their time to endorsing either candidate. To endorse Loretta Langston: dogforpresidentNDSU.org. To endorse Fredward Feline: voteforcatNDSU.org.

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