Fire Alarm Fun

I swear it’s like catnip to some people.

It’s about the time of year where we take a trip down memory lane. Everything is changing once again, and it’s nice to reminisce about your unique journey through college. The thing about your unique journey, however, is that it isn’t terribly unique. For better or worse, there’s usually a good bunch of people that experience the same thing as you. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a good thing. It creates a sense of camaraderie with everyone around you.

I’d like us to take a moment and flashback to something we all really hated at the time. It’s kinda funny now, but I swear if you were the one pulling the fire alarms at two in the morning in Reed/Johnson during the 2015-2016 school year, I am still looking for you and you will pay. Looking back, there’s some nostalgia, such as my friends and I huddled and shivering in our pajamas. It’s something we, and I imagine many others, look back on and are almost glad it happened.

That being said, when I find you I will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law or my moral bounds, whatever comes second.

At this point, I’d like to note the power of this edition of The Spectrum. It is the first one the incoming freshmen will see, my first chance to address them. This is a special message just for them: living in the dorms is one of the best experiences I’ve had in college. It sucks, but it sucks with a sense of community. It’s how I made some of my best friends. However, if you are someone who would do something like pull fire alarms at two in the morning, this message is not for you. You are not my friend. You have an opportunity to be a good, upstanding citizen, and if you blow that, someone will still be tracking you two years later, just waiting for you to slip up.

Side note: have alone time alone. If you do that with your roommates present, they’ll know.  There’s always someone who does it. They’ll tell their friends. It always makes everyone uncomfortable. Just don’t.

So anyways, the fire alarm thing. You can put up with that kind of stuff for a year. It’s not that bad. More importantly, you’ll never experience something like that again. You have the rest of your life to live like a normal person, but you only have so long crammed into this weird amalgamation of a prison block and an elementary school. Just don’t do things like pull a fire alarm because people won’t forget and they’ll get so damn close to finding you, Spencer.

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