Fashion Faux Pas

Buckle your seat belts freshmen; it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Let’s get real; there are some questionable fashion choices on campus, some just not too pretty and some just annoying.

Your damn lanyards

Take them off. I don’t need to hear your keys, which, why do you have more than one? You live in the dorms. You don’t need to carry your mail key. Hang that up in your room because you don’t need that in class. But, I don’t need to hear your keys jingle jangle while you run up the stairs because you think that walking into class at 9:59 will get you in trouble. It won’t.

I also don’t need to be sideswiped by another one of your Vera Bradley wallets that you, for some reason, also have dangling around your neck. How is that convenient? You’re already carrying a backpack; just shove it in there. I promise you won’t need it unless you know you’ll need it. In which case, novel idea, take it out of your backpack.

Also, it’s just the worst kind of necklace you could choose to wear.

Too high tube socks

Are your calves underneath your Victoria’s Secret leggings cold? If that’s the case, I suggest wearing pants.

And why are you wearing them with ankle high sneakers? I wish I were Tina Belcher as much as the next girl, but even I have to admit that she’s not the best person to go to for fashion advice. (Unless it’s on that flawless hair flip.)

Tired on purpose

Okay, admittedly, I am not the kind of girl that puts on makeup. Ever. But I do know that putting on lipstick the same shade as your skin tone and vaguely purple eye shadow is just a sad vision into your future.

While that grungy, living dead look may be all the rage right now in the SoundCloud rapper world, you’re in college now. That means that there will soon come a day where you wake up and actually look like the living dead.

Your cheeks will have a green tint of nausea. The bags under your eyes will look closer to black than your skin tone. You will be bloated everywhere. You will be so pale and washed out people will ask you if you’re sick. And the worst part is you really won’t know how to answer that question.

That being said, why are you so eager to look like that already? Just give it a month and it will happen naturally, especially if you are a partier.

Contouring

I like to make my cheek bones pop as much as every Instagram user, but some of y’all are out here walking around with a bronzer four shades too dark for you in the shape of a triangle just below your eye and then directly under your jawbone just as dark.

Can you at least learn to blend it in? I know the dorm lighting sucks, but go to Walmart, get one of those light up mirrors for 10 bucks and try it again. Or don’t wear makeup. Nobody is looking at you in that 8:00 a.m. lecture with 300 people anyway.

I’m not trying to tell y’all how to live your lives; I’m just telling y’all how I feel. If you got a problem, write for features.

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