Elect Grant Gloe For Student Body President

The editors of The Rectum support Grant Gloe for student body president.

He is an unqualified, unexperienced, apathetic and dull choice with a nice butt who might help move this school forward from an extremely boring election cycle.

We didn’t come to this conclusion hastily. The staff deliberated over a few items in particular during an hours-long meeting: whether we should endorse any candidate at all, whether we should endorse or denounce a candidate and which candidate we’d pick.

Our staff had two dissenting thoughts pertaining to the candidates, being that Mason Wenzel shouldn’t run unopposed and any random write-in student would not necessarily do a really good job as Wenzel would.

In the end, we agreed our writer, Grant Gloe, is a sort-of fit and mostly unqualified to be the next student body president, but we should elect him anyways.

We ultimately decided to take a stand because history has its eyes on us. The nature of this election — having only happened once before — has left us wanting to be seen standing up instead of sitting down.

It would be easier to not endorse as some media outlets, including KNDS and the Bison Information Network, have chosen to do.

Practicing democracy and standing up for convictions takes grit.

We are endorsing because apathy and learned helplessness should not be condoned. We believe inaction is an action, a non-vote is a vote and a non-endorsement to be an endorsement.

Our system has faults, but we must take the good with the bad and move forward, ballot in hand.

We also decided endorsing, not denouncing, would be more engaging for our readers. We want our opinion to spark a productive debate.

We need controversy in this election. We need excitement and Gloe is a step away from the norm.

Disagree with us? Let’s talk credentials and policy.

Wenzel has been a go-getter since he first got to the NDSU campus, becoming involved with the finance commission and eventually becoming the executive commissioner of finance for student government.

Gloe, however, has sat on his beautiful buns, antisocially playing video games and watching Netflix like the rest of us. He knows what most NDSU students want because he is like most NDSU students.

Spencer Moir has also set a blemish on history for having a beautifully toned individual as student body president. Do we really want a pretty person such as Wenzel to represent our campus, or do we want a less-than-fit, ramen noodle-eating normal guy to show the world who we really are?

Gloe is also an engineering major, too. They, as anyone who has heard an engineering student complain knows, have it the hardest on campus. Gloe hasn’t got a D, F or W like 44 percent of some engineering students have either.

We couldn’t fill a sentence with Gloe’s political accomplishments, but neither could we for Donald Trump before November and look where that has gotten him.

Still not sold? Been told to vote your conscience or for the only ticket on the ballot?

Voting your conscience still requires citizens to vote. If you personally can stomach the only ticket, vote for Wenzel/Mastel.

Yes, many of us on campus would have preferred to have more names on the ballot, but that will not deter us from the polling booths as apathetic NDSU students don’t vote anyways.

The Rectum has never endorsed a student body candidate, until now.

The choice is clear:

Make NDSU Gloe Again!

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