Constructing a Critique of Construction Bleak

PHOTO COURTESY | QUINN DOMBROWS
A bleak look at a lonely excavator just waiting to dig some holes.

Today I thought it’d be nice to give you a taste of my summer. I mostly worked on a construction site as a civil engineering intern, watching 6-inch holes get drilled 60-feet deep 40 times. Now if you’re wondering what that’s like, it’s kind of like waiting in a doctor’s office.

You go in for a shot and expect to be done in an hour, hour and a half tops. You get your paperwork, and the lady at the desk says they’ll get right back to you so a nurse can pat your balls and give you a shot. So you fill out the paperwork and wait about an half hour.

Finally, a nurse calls you back and sits you down in a chair. She says another nurse will be there to pat your balls and give you a shot in just a minute.

About 20 minutes later, a nurse finally walks in and tells you to get out of the spinny chair in front of the computer. She takes your height, weight, blood pressure, shoe size, waist line and horoscope, and sends you back to your room. She assures you a nurse will be back to pat your balls and give you a shot.

Forty minutes later, a nurse shows up and tells you to get out of the spinny chair. She responds poorly to “make me.” She checks your family history for cancer, diabetes, liver disease, heart disease, Alzheimer’s, skin conditions, spontaneous combustion, baldness and bad breath. She tells you a nurse will be right back to pat your balls and give you a shot.

Another half hour passes. A nurse finally appears and makes you get out of the spinny chair. She checks your blood pressure, ears, eyes, nose, heads, shoulders, knees and toes, and says a nurse will be right back to pat your balls and give you a shot.

And finally, after another 45 minutes of waiting, your patience is rewarded with a needle, a Disney princess bandage and a male nurse way too fond of eye contact.

Now you’ll remember this is somehow supposed to relate back to what it’s like to work on a construction site. It’s a lot of action in between periods of “everything is wrong and nothing can happen.” At least, that’s my experience. I’m sure not every job involves holes that explode and the batteries getting stolen out of every piece of equipment.

 

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