ChapStick: The Cigarettes of Lipstick

Definitely a more safe alternative though

WIKICOMMONS | PHOTO COURTESY Throwing this stuff on your lips can be quite addicting.

Let’s be honest: ChapStick is essentially cigarettes. I can feel you squinting just a little. You don’t believe, and that’s fine. If you just agreed, this would be one boring article wouldn’t it?

Let’s start with the addictive properties. Everyone knows that cigarettes are chock full of delicious nicotine that keeps you chasing that buzz. Did you know ChapStick dries out your lips? Doesn’t feel like the same thing, but what are you gonna reach for now that your lips are dry? More ChapStick. They’ve got you hooked.

This makes it really disgusting that they’re both marketed toward children. For years, people have been blocking cigarettes from having colorful ads or role models from smoking in movies. These same people will shove ChapStick into their junky kid’s hand.

People often love the taste of a good smoke. If you’re not a smoker, you probably aren’t crazy about the taste of ash and sadness. In my research for this article, I’ve found eating ChapStick is only slightly more desirable.

There are also the health risks. Smoking has a plethora of ways to ruin your body and smile. You can read all about it on the label. Now, I don’t really have any info on the health risks of ChapStick, but I started to feel pretty sick after the second stick of research, so I can’t imagine it’s good for you.

Personally, I think a lot of the appeal of both is their culture. There is certainly a smoking culture. People who go outside and just take a second. Chat it up with the other smokers. Look like all your favorite TV heroes who smoke. Smoking can just feel like the thing to do. There is a ChapStick culture, believe it or not. That person who always has a stick on them, who can’t go a day without feeling that calcified Neosporin on their lips. That person who goes, “Man is it dry,” and go to town on themselves like a monkey applying lipstick. They even have a second stick, just to flex on anyone with dry lips and isn’t cool enough to have their own.

Leave a Reply