Hey Minnesota United, I would just like offer up my services. I would like to become manager of the Loons. It really can’t be as hard as the current group is making it seem. Here is my resume. I…
The editors of The Rectum call upon the student court and senate to immediately impeach North Dakota State Student Body President Spencer Moir (pictured) for an utter, unabashed lack of governance of his duties. It’s clear Moir is riding…
The Rectum
Indie Bands’ Vocals Go from Indistinguishable to Complete Gibberish
Mar 30, 2017, 8:30 AM 0
We are currently living in a period of great societal change, a cosmic rift, a Renaissance if you will. Indie bands are now so indie that they have chosen to forsake commonly accepted annunciation in preference for a system…
Hitting theaters Christmas 2020, a harrowing tale of a guy trying to crawl out from under his dad’s shadow, not directed by Mel Gibson though. Disney has just put a patent on the New Testament for their next feel…
North Dakota State’s president now knows his full name, thanks to some help from a local accountant. “I was filing my tax returns, and the tax man asked me what my name was,” President Dean Bresciani said. “And I…
The wellness center has officially made the move that will save millions of people’s eyes. Over this past weekend, after the cries from some dumb student journalist, the wellness center will officially require at least three items of winter…
Worse than the current shortage of cash in Hyderabad ATMs, the flourishing tech city is currently experiencing its second week of Dosa shortage. In an event fit for the most traumatic of apocalyptic narratives, the mass exodus of citizens…
The National Football League is notorious for bad ideas about the rule changes. Most of that is in the fault of the Commissioner Roger Goodell. News flash Goodell: We don’t like Thursday Night Football you Donald Trump looking ass with…
I am a rock. I am an island (of cool. The only cool thing in Brookings, S.D.). I am a rock. Sorry. I get all my kicks from cheap jokes because there is literally nothing redeeming about this place….
It’s official: purse dogs are out and fancy cats are in. The biggest trend in fashion right now isn’t athleisure, bodysuits or pastels; it’s coordinating outfits for you and your cat. Dog owners can put their pooches in cute…