Carson Wentz Makes Shocking Spiritual Move

carson wentz to join ministry
FILE PHOTO | THE SPECTRUM
After a blessed Pro Day, Wentz decided that he would use his football talents to serve God.

Former North Dakota State star quarterback Carson Wentz shocked the football world earlier this week with a holy statement.

“I’ve decided to take my talents to the ministry,” Wentz said Monday afternoon from the inside of his cat-filled apartment.

After an impressive Pro Day on March 24, Wentz was considered to be a top-5 pick in the NFL Draft, which takes place next month.

“The good Lord helped me so much during my Pro Day that the only way to pay him back is to join the ministry,” Wentz said.

NDSU head football coach Chris Klieman said that there are five questions one must ask themselves if they are serious about joining the ministry.

“The five questions are: What are my gifts? Am I called? Am I committed to a local church? Do I have any religious tattoos? Do I look like Jesus? Those are the five questions Carson has to ask himself,” Klieman said from inside the Fargodome prayer room.

Wentz definitely can check off those five questions.

His gifts are throwing footballs, and that’s it.

“The gift God has given me is the gift I give back,” Wentz said. “I will throw footballs until I can’t.”

A few weeks ago Wentz knew he was being called to the ministry but wanted to wait a little while before breaking the news.

“I was feeding my 14 cats, and my flip phone started ringing off the hook,” Wentz said. “I answered and it was God. This was Him calling me.”

Before every home game last season Wentz attended church from 5-7 a.m., but when asked what local church he attends Wentz said, “I’m not ready to discuss that yet.”

Wentz said at first wasn’t sure he could join the ministry due to the fact that he doesn’t have any religious tattoos and he doesn’t look like Jesus.

However, after some great investigating and reporting by soon-to-be redshirt sophomore quarterback Easton Stick, Wentz’s tattoos and Jesus looks were discovered.

“He has a religious tattoo on his right throwing wrist,” Stick said. “And after seeing him in the locker room a lot last season, he looks just like Jesus, except with ginger colored hair.”

His tattoo stands for audience of one and looks like the letters and numbers AO1 with a cross inside the O.

“Everything I do I do it for the Lord,” Wentz said. “Every day I wake up I look in the mirror and thank Jesus for looking like his ginger twin.”

The ministry draft is similar to the NFL Draft but instead of seven rounds there is only “Holy Round.”

“I hired a very religious agent, and he thinks I can be the No. 1 pick,” Wentz said. “Honestly, I never wanted to play in the NFL. The ministry is the life that I want to live.”

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