Bison Abroad | Mass City Exodus in Dosa Disaster

Worse than the current shortage of cash in Hyderabad ATMs, the flourishing tech city is currently experiencing its second week of Dosa shortage.

In an event fit for the most traumatic of apocalyptic narratives, the mass exodus of citizens to neighboring southern states has reached its peak in the past few days. The sheer volume of Hyderabadis seeking refuge in Tamil Nadu has caused the CM to declare a state of emergency as the cities of Madras and Kanchipuram struggle to provide adequate accommodation and face dosa shortages of their own.

LAURA ELLEN BRANDJORD | THE SPECTRUM Do you have any dosa? Watch out for the hungry hordes that don’t.

If the citizens continue to the city at this rate, it can be expected that Hyderabad will be no more than a ghost town by the end of the week.

The official cause the shortage of the crispy essential South Indian bread has been linked to the disease of the rice used in the fermented batter caused by an inadequate monsoon season resulting in a flour which does not properly ferment.

Successful comedian and dosa activist, Kenny Sebastian, has become one of the most celebrated heroes since the tragedy struck. Upon hearing the crisis, he immediately returned to his home-state of Kerala to begin gathering donated supplies for the affected Hyderabad citizens, canceling the last show of his tour scheduled in Chandigarh to do so.

In addition to this, the comedian has started selling T-shirts with popular lines from his famous “Why the Dosa is Amazing” stand-up routine with all proceeds going directly to the city’s Dosa Shortage Relief Fund. The “Dosa has two ingredients — Urad dal and love” and “Introducing the Apple iDosa” T-shirt designs have proven so popular that they are backordered until November 2018.

While thanks largely to the help of celebrities such as Sebastian, the six million residents of Hyderabad are slowly getting the aid they need, officials still say there is a long way to go before the city and its citizens’ dosa habits are back to normal.

Thankfully, the government of Telangana is already discussing the creation of a Dosa Crisis Surplus Hold, which would act as a state supply of the critical ingredients for use in the case of another such incident in the future.

“With the monsoon becoming less and less reliable,” one government spokesperson said, “we just want to make sure we are prepared so a tragedy of this magnitude does not occur again.”

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