Apple Don’t Give Jack

SPECTRUM STAFF ERIK JONASSON II | Apple employees work on iPhone 7 revealed.
Apple employee’s work on iPhone 7 revealed.

Did it really surprise you? Apple doesn’t give “jack”-squat what we are ready for.

Now, I am probably in the minority here, but who the hell cares whether or not the new iPhone (a shiny object most would sell a kidney for) has a headphone jack.

As the new iPhone was announced it seemed doomed to be interneted to death.

“There’s no headphone jack! Quick lets make an Arthur meme, cough Harambe hates Apple.”

It is no secret: we are grouchy old folks when it comes to technological progress.

We don’t hate progress all of the time though, we just hate when it requires our cooperation.

“Hell yeah, make the iPhone 8 have a 10 inch screen!”

We love if it has more storage, we love if it’s bigger, but holy guacamole, please don’t take away ports. Don’t make me upgrade my personal tech.

Bluetooth is just simply the future. Cue Squidward “future” crunches.

We are a generation tethered (wirelessly?) to our phones.

Oh boy, we are poor though. It is hard to ignore that we are poorer off than our parents. Just ask your mum or dad about their college tuition. Working 40 hours a week will not get you the new iPhone. It might not even cover rent these days.

So is it unreasonable for us to be mad about a no-jack iPhone? Of course not, Bluetooth ear buds can run around $50-$200, that could easily be spent somewhere else.

With technological progress though we have to be willing to cooperate. Remember when we were okay with there being no cameras on phones? Remember when you wanted a Blackberry? That wasn’t that long ago folks.

So yeah, you can be an upset techy. Though you are literally the 21st century equivalent of a grandpa yelling at kids for being on his lawn.

“Give me back my headphone jack! Hey want to go get the early bird special?”

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