A Diamond in The Rough

Can we be honest about diamonds? Once you get past the “oh wow, oh my, what a honky tonk badonka-rock” of seeing a ring with a big ole diamond on it, it’s not all that great.

It may look nice, but as far as gemstones go, you can find one that looks so much better and unique than what is essentially fancy glass. So what’s the big deal?

Well, you can thank a company named “De Beers” which produces two things: low hanging fruit and diamonds. Back in the day, they were the damn diamond kings. They alone used to own most of the world’s diamonds.

I’m talking upwards of 90 percent in the early 1900s to about 80 percent in the ’60s. With this kind of control, they could shove a mountain of diamonds in their closet like old shoes or a broken vacuum and say, “Oh wow look at these super rare stones we happened upon! How cool, right guys?”

But how do you get people to buy your crap product? Rare doesn’t mean great. Polar bears are unfortunately dying out, but I’m not about to give one a hug. Well, let’s say you have a lemonade stand, and just that morning you bought every single lemon in town. You are jefe de lemonada, so you try to slap a $100 price tag on a glass. People are just going to write you off unless you use the power of advertising.

You start telling couples, “You know a real man gets his woman lemonade. Look at Suzy down the block: her man got her a glass of bittersweet love and she can barely keep hold of it.” People start thinking there’s something to this lemon stuff, especially since they look around and they can’t find anything like it.

So people buy into the idea that lemonade is something special and all of a sudden you aren’t a real couple if you don’t have a glass. Really, the biggest issue with this analogy is that I can eat a lemon without going to a very judgmental ER.

De Beers owns about 35 to 40 percent of the diamonds sold today, but the damage is already done. So fellas, if your woman is harassing you for the biggest best rock to knock the socks off Suzy down the block, it’s time to have a talk.

Luckily, I’ve got the solution to make sure you don’t shell out for a shell of a product. Just show her this article and politely explain that diamonds aren’t that great. I guarantee you’ll walk away happily single.

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